"Just because after one date he texts me several times an hour after i drop him off and then proceeds to call 10+ times into the night leaving frantically desperate messages, only to later yell at me over the phone and call me 'salacious' for turning down his romantic one-night-stand hotel invitation, only to THEN threaten to kill himself because i told him I wasn't interested... doesn't mean I shouldn't date him."

classic case of pheromones gone wrong. like, really fucking wrong.

the misogynist.

"Just because he can't shut up about how much he hates his mom and that she's nothing but a drunk slut and how he's okay with never speaking to her again and how much I and every girlfriend he's ever had reminds him of her... doesn't mean I shouldn't date him."

guys: your mama brought you into this world. she can sure as hell take you out.

the pig.

"just because he offered to pay for a boob job that i didn't even want or ask for, only to later redact his offer for fear that other guys might actually start to like me, because, you know, guys wouldn't notice me otherwise... doesn't mean i shouldn't date him."

let me guess: big ego, tiny dick.

the man-child.

“Just because he clings to me at every moment and cannot interact socially in any capacity and doesn’t know how to cook using anything other than a microwave and doesn’t know how to balance a checkbook and wants to be held at every opportunity and cries every time I want to go somewhere without him... doesn’t mean I shouldn’t date him.”

perhaps his diaper was on too tight?

the purist.

“Just because he is 27 years old and thinks keeping himself a virgin is an actual gift for his future wife when you know that ‘gift’ really means ‘total lack of technique’ and ‘two minutes in the honeymoon suite’... doesn’t mean I shouldn’t date him.”

vibrators make better gifts. sayin'.

the pity party.

“Just because his mom abandoned him at age 14, then his dad abandoned him at age 18, and all his girlfriends/fiancés up until the age of 29 abandoned him, which makes him convinced I'm screwing 16 other guys all at once and monitors my every activity like the CIA but without skinny ties and sunglasses and responds to everyday stimulus with whiny self-pity that makes me want to drive spikes into his eyes 97% of the time... doesn’t mean i shouldn’t date him.”

the lack of skinny ties was the obvious deal breaker here.

the gamer.

"just because we met online while playing rpg's and he lives eight states away with his fiance whom he hates and he spends all hours of the day and night chatting me up and flirting with me while he constantly complains about how she is a lazy sack of shit and that he's so glad he met me and he's developing feelings for me even though we have yet to meet in person... doesn't mean i shouldn't date him."

both of you. get a life.